You belong because you exist.

HUMANISTIC THERAPY

FOR OUTSIDERS

  • “In every generation there are a few souls, call them lucky or cursed, who are simply born not belonging, who come into the world semi-detached, if you like, without strong affiliation to family or location or nation or race; that there may even be millions, billions of such souls, as many non-belongers as belongers, perhaps; that, in sum, the phenomenon may be as “natural” a manifestation of human nature as its opposite, but one that has been mostly frustrated, throughout human history, by lack of opportunity.

    And not only by that: for those who value stability, who fear transience, uncertainly, change, have erected a powerful system of stigmas and taboos against rootlessness, that disruptive, anti-social force, so that we mostly conform, we pretend to be motivated by loyalties and solidarities we do not really feel, we hide our secret identities beneath the false skins of those identities which bear the belongers’ seal of approval.”

    —Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet

  • "The judgments of others, while they are to be listened to, and taken into account for what they are, can never be a guide for me. This has been a hard thing to learn.”

    Carl Rogers, On Becoming A Person: A Therapist's View of Psychotherapy

  • “There are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, fully, entirely, completely-or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands.”

    Oscar Wilde

  • “Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal.

    True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.”

    Brené Brown

  • “It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here.”

    James Baldwin

  • “People only get really interesting when they start to rattle the bars of their cages.”

    Alain de Botton

There are many reasons you could feel excluded or different.

Maybe you’ve never been someone that easily fits in with most people. Maybe this meant you were ignored or bullied growing up. Maybe you have been part of many groups, but feel more like an observer than a member. Maybe you are changing and no longer resonate with the communities you once belonged to. Maybe you don’t feel a strong drive to be socially popular. Maybe speaking isn’t your preferred method of communication. Maybe you don’t feel at home in your own body. Maybe you don’t even feel like a citizen of earth at this point. Maybe you feel satisfied living a solitary life raising animals, making art, and gardening. Maybe other people feel too dangerous. 

Maybe you desperately want to belong but feel pushed out or denied access due to your race, class, learning style, or gender. Maybe you are navigating the world with a disability, an illness, or chronic pain (and maybe some people think you are exaggerating). Maybe you were previously incarcerated and adjusting to a return to civilian life. Maybe you are an asylum seeker facing a daunting situation in isolation. Maybe you are a veteran who self-isolates due to severe symptoms of PTSD and can’t relate to the general population anymore. Maybe you are the parent of a neurodivergent child and you are navigating this on your own. Maybe you are LGBTQ+ and experiencing whiplash as you discover exciting, supportive communities while simultaneously witnessing the dark obsession of those still determined to deny you rights.

Maybe others blame you for your own misfortune because your choices and values are different than theirs. Maybe you are grieving a catastrophic loss and feel abandoned by those you thought would be there for you. Maybe you left your faith community. Maybe you are the black sheep of your family and everyone rolls their eyes at you. Maybe you are a woman who doesn’t want to have children, or can’t. Maybe you aren’t ambitious or status-driven. Maybe you have no interest in monogamy or marriage. Maybe you are a man who feels alienated by traditional masculinity, but don’t know how else to find community. Maybe you got cancelled because your words or actions were misinterpreted. Maybe you are entering your later years and feeling more connected to the spiritual realm as the urgency of the material one fades away.

Maybe you feel a growing unease as you realize that you don’t see yourself reflected in the spaces you occupy. Maybe you didn’t know there was anything wrong with you until others pointed it out. Maybe you wish someone would see you for who you actually are and not who they think you should be.

Maybe you feel different in some way I haven’t described.

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If you tend to feel like you don't fit in or know where you belong, I see you.

I have respect for those who live out their days on the fringes and intersections of society, where the prevailing norms and expectations often fail to fully acknowledge their experiences and perspectives. I acknowledge the hurdles you face swimming against the current. The backlash you receive from others can be alarmingly unfair and often fear-based.

Many of you are experiencing oppression and discrimination in all their pervasive forms, working through your share of ancestral trauma, and grappling with the growing intensity of late-stage capitalism and an uncertain future - all of which brings forth an array of personal and systemic adversities.

…but it hits each person different.

I want to learn how you experience the conditions of your life.

If you have had repeat experiences that caused you to to feel ashamed of who you were or question your place amongst others,

then you could feel cut off from knowing yourself and trusting in your own abilities.

You may have internalized the belief that you have no inherent worth and are undeserving of love, respect, and safety.

When this happens, the relationship you have with yourself has been ruptured and is asking for the opportunity to repair.

You didn’t ask for this or deserve any of it, and it isn’t your fault, but you are the only one who can heal the relationship you have with yourself.

While this is a deeply internal process, you don't have to do it alone.

Who you are to yourself matters.

HUMANISTIC

THERAPY

Humanistic therapists acknowledges the importance of your inner life, individuality, needs, and relationship to self. It emphasizes the importance of offering yourself unconditional positive regard despite the imperfections and struggles of being human.

This approach appreciates the reality and beauty of our diversity, and values self-acceptance as an essential component of personal development and psychological well-being.

"It is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial, what experiences have been deeply buried."

-Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person, 1961

Benefits of Humanistic Therapy

A Non-Pathologizing Approach to Mental Health

One of the key benefits of humanistic therapy is its focus on the whole person. In a non-pathologizing framework, the focus is on your inherent capacity for growth, self-awareness, and self-actualization, not just your diagnosis.

Humanistic therapists view their clients as having the potential for positive change and personal development, and they aim to create a nonjudgmental, empathetic, and supportive therapeutic environment that encourages you to explore the most tender aspects of your life without feeling labeled or stigmatized. This perspective can help you feel respected and motivated, not broken, as you work towards greater self-understanding and implementing changes.


HUMANISTIC THERAPY

PRIORITIZES:

  • A Non-Directive Approach

    Non-directive therapists believe in your ability to create positive change in your life and find the answers you seek through becoming more self-directed and engaged in the process of growth.

    This approach limits suggestions and advice-giving to encourage you to trust in your ability to find solutions independently.

    This relationship is based on the understanding that you are the expert on yourself and what you need. The therapist is primarily there to support you and keep you accountable to your own process.

  • Unconditional Positive Regard

    We tend to relate conditionally, seeking acceptance through what we can offer others.

    Unconditional positive regard works to counteract this by showing consistent acceptance, care, and support to you for who you are, not just what you can provide to others. This communicates that you deserve to be treated with kindness even when you aren’t at your best.

    This approach values your authenticity and wellbeing. Over time, this helps to challenge unhelpful narratives.

  • The Here + Now

    The past exists in the present through relational patterns and can be addressed through what you naturally bring to session.

    For example, The therapist might observe how your body language and words convey conflicting messages, or notice that you become consistently withdrawn as you talk about a certain person or situation.

    The reason we focus on the present is that most human issues stem from ways of relating, and this will eventually show up within the therapeutic relationship itself to be worked through in real time.

  • Empathy

    Empathy helps therapists enter into your world without judgement or bias to experience life from your perspective.

    While it is generally understood empathy encourages connection and emotional safety, it also helps to reflect your thoughts and emotions back to you - kind of like a mirror - so that you can see yourself more clearly.

    This demonstrates that your therapist cares and respects who you are as an individual with your own values and frame of reference - they aren’t expecting you to be anyone you’re not.

Quality of Presence

When someone is suffering from emotional pain, feeling destabilized, trapped, or unsure of themselves and their identity, they need to be understood first.

In these moments, offering them the quality of your presence and warm-heartedness is the most supportive thing you can provide.

come as you are.

Within the therapeutic relationship, you are encouraged to be completely honest about your experiences and perspectives. This is your opportunity to talk about what troubles you and what you want to see happen in your life.

You won't have to act like everything is okay when it isn’t, and you won’t have to play a part to gain acceptance either. Over time, you’ll learn that there is so much to be gained through being in your own truth.

INTERESTED?

I offer a complimentary 15 min consultation to see if I could be the right therapist for you.